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  Original Music 2013

Beige: R233, G220, B162

  Beige: R233, G220, B162


5 minutes 39 seconds|  Attention Deficit Wheelhouse.

Three pieces are here assigned color designations: Red, Green, and Blue. In terms of composition, there are only two distinct sections: the first started 4/22/13, which comprises red and green; and the second 6/23/13, which is blue.

It is interesting how many of my works are started at the beginning of seasons: Spring (April), Summer (June), and Autumn (September). Few works are started (or finished) in August and December because I travel during these months, and so am nervously preoccupied.

Beige is a bland thing to picture musically, which is sort of the point. Like pink Benadryl, the inspiration comes indirectly and abstractly, and gives shape to its namesake.

Record Icon Subjective Objects: Seretonin levels in my brain are unstable, largely due to being put on an antidepressant as an inappropirate treatment for my protracted discontinuation syndrome from benzodiazepines. However, I have lived with this problem for four years, and have become a good judge in determining where my levels are at a given time by auditory abnormalities.

When sertonin levels are up, my hearing becomes overly sensitive to frequencies around 1kHz-2kHz. Simultaneously, I experience musical auditory hallucinations, where some little loop of sound or music repeats endlessly in a backgorund of white noise, such as originating in a fan motor. I was admitted to a psych ward for several days after quitting amitryptyline because I lost the aiblity to fall asleep. During that horrible period, every time I lay down and grew sleepy, these hallucinations commenced. Particularly, I hear a roaring male choir (although very far away) singing, what I then believed to be, a segment of Lizst’s Faust Symphony.

My situation is not so dire today, but auditory abnormalities continue with seretonin fluctuations. If I listen to one of my composition after not listening to music for a while, or if I listen to a composition after I have performed some prolonged, non-auditory activity that uses the left hemisphere of brain intensely, it is as if I am listening to piece of music unknown to me. Instead of hearing the melody most prominently, I hear the counter-melody, or interior voices of less featured instruments. The music is turned on its head. After a few minutes of listening, or after listening to another piece of music and returning to the disputed piece of music, all is as it was normally. The peculairities have vanished. I have no doubt a similar phenomenon occurs with visual art, although this is less common for me.

By these occasions, I realize that reality, such as it may be named, is not a universal experience shared by every member. Some people, either by gift, disease, training, or prediliction, see, hear, taste and understand attributes of a thing that others may not experience. 

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